I HIGHLY recommend one,
while despising the other.
Can you guess which one I like? “Act as if”! It’s actually kind of a trick question when posed that way, because they sound very similar until you finish the rest of the sentence of the former. Once that’s done, I believe it’s easy to see why the difference between the two could not be greater. It’s “act as if you’re already in possession of the desired goal”. Still confused as to what the difference is? Let’s be more specific.
One refers to TAKING THE ACTION that needs to be taken to achieve the goal, while the other is PRETENDING that you’ve accomplished the goal and are enjoying the rewards.
Acting As If
What do you imagine that the person who is already enjoying the rewards of having accomplished the goal that you’re trying to achieve, is doing on a daily (or hourly) basis that led them to the achievement of the goal. Those are the things YOU should be doing NOW! Put another way, how would you act if you were ______ or had ___________? In short, it’s making sure that your actions are congruent with the desired outcome. For example, a sales rep wants to double their income but makes the same number of calls they’ve always made. Actions are incongruent with the desired outcome. A woman wants to have a meaningful, honest, healthy relationship with a high value man, but goes clubbing three nights a week. Actions are incongruent with the desired outcome. A man wants to lose 20 pounds, be healthy and fit, but eats fast food every day and doesn’t exercise. Actions are incongruent with the desired outcome.
The key to “acting as if” is to ask yourself, “what would a person who (INSERT GOAL HERE… “makes twice my income” “has a healthy relationship with a high value man” “weighs 20 pounds less and is healthy and fit”) be doing each day?”, and then DO THAT NOW! How many calls would a sales rep making twice your income make each day? ACT AS IF YOU WERE THEM! How often would a woman in a healthy relationship with a high value man go to nightclubs? ACT AS IF YOU WERE THEM! What would a healthy, fit man weighing 20 pounds less than you be eating and doing each day? ACT AS IF YOU WERE THEM!
Fake It Till You Make It
This is where you PRETEND that you’re already in possession of the desired outcome. The theory behind it is that you can trick your subconscious mind into believing that you’ve already accomplished the goal, and then it will manifest itself. Personally, I’m all for manifestation but I think there are far better ways to trick your subconscious mind (read “Think and Grow Rich” for the exact formula!) than being dishonest, fake, or going into debt. I often see people trying to give the illusion of having achieved success (especially having lived in Orange County, CA!) by buying things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t know. They’re basically trying to experience the BENEFITS or REWARDS enjoyed by people who have achieved a certain goal, but without having done the necessary work.
In the example above, the sales rep who wants to double their income might fake it till they make it by going out and buying the nice sports car that they can’t afford now, but “hope” to somehow reach their goal and be able to afford it then. VERY different than “acting as if”!
“Acting As If” is doing the required work now to REALLY achieve the goal and enjoy the rewards. Do this!
“Fake It Till You Make It” is trying to experience the rewards BEFORE the goal is reached. Don’t do this!
Now please don’t come at me with things like “the sales guy may have a family and other responsibilities so he doesn’t have time”, or “she should be able to go to clubs if that makes her happy”, or “maybe he’s really trying but he really enjoys food”… Look, I have a heart and I understand all of these BUT you’ll have to be honest with yourself and ask which is more important to you- maintaining the status quo as far as your activity goes and hoping to somehow be the exception to the rule that goes against all odds and wins anyway; or changing your behavior and doing what the people who have already won do?
A friend of mine is a guitar player with one of the most well-known musicians of all time. I once asked him how he got to be such an incredible guitarist and his answer was awesome. “It’s easy. Anyone can do it. Just go home after school every day since fifth grade and play the guitar for 5 or 6 hours. Do that for 10 straight years.” “Act as if” means you do exactly that! “Fake it til you make it” means you let your hair grow long, buy a Lambo, and demand a table at the hottest restaurant in town when you just bought a guitar and took your first lesson last week.
Simply put… don’t do that.
